Hello? It’s in the name! Interrupting Goat, Goat Poop Tea, is our new tea product everyone is talking about. We take our finest, most lovingly produced goat droppings and steep them into a beverage that our legal team has told us to stop calling “tea”. It’s tea, Jenny (our lawyer), get over it. It’s also sustainably made and packed with tons of health benefits and side effec—.
Our proprietary Tactile-Tension-Release (TTR) method operates on the principle of gastro-vibrational frequency. Massaging the love handles 12 times daily ensures the goat remains in a state of ‘Metabolic Nirvana.’ This prevents the oxidation of the poop-enzymes, preserving the delicate bio-flavonoids that give our tea its signature earthy ‘funk’ and robust, musky fini—.
Say hello to Lexi and Cheryl, our fierce leaders who make this poop happen! (The poop tea, of course.) Lexi’s job is to monitor the goats via a live security feed to ensure they produce every minute without fail. Meanwhile, Cheryl heads out 12 times a day to perform the TTR Method; between love-handle rubs, she converts that beautiful poop into a tasty beverage in our secret labrator—.
Target poop cadence
Lexi’s personal record (minutes)
Daily love handle rubs
Vacations taken
Improved mood, relaxation, immunity, digestive aid, antioxidant boost, natural energy, mental clarity, anti-inflammatory properties, hydration, stress reduction, metabolic support, cardiovascular health, detoxification, sleep quality, skin health, blood sugar regulation, respiratory relief, enhanced recovery, bone density support, and oral healt—.
Worsened mood, increased tension, weakened immunity, digestive distress, oxidative stress, energy crashes, mental fog, increased inflammation, dehydration, elevated stress, metabolic sluggishness, cardiovascular strain, toxin buildup, poor sleep quality, dull skin health, blood sugar instability, respiratory discomfort, delayed recovery, reduced bone density, and poor oral healt—.
Get one container to try GPT out or gift it to a loved one (they’ll love you even more)!
Love GPT? Get a 10-pack so you don’t have to wake up wondering if you still have any!
REALLY love GPT? Literally never run out… until you do… then order another 100!
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Be the first to know about special promotions, new experiences, farm & animal updates, and just ridiculous content that’ll make you gasp, ooh, aw, and woah!
Be the first to know about special promotions, new experiences, farm & animal updates, and just ridiculous content that’ll make you gasp, ooh, aw, and woah! See below for a sneak peak at our newsletters!
Meet our alpacas, hand-feed them, and craft an eco-friendly bird nesting ball in a warm barn!